me

Hi, my name is Rosemary and I like reading angsty sob stories with happy endings that give me warm fuzzy feelings. Having that feeling of anticipation well up in the bottom of my tummy and swell when getting to 'the good part' and understanding how the main protagonist is thinking/feeling. I love that feeling you get after reading an amazing story and just sitting there after you've finished, staring contently at a blank spot on the wall.

I also think Kanda is the cutest thing in the world.

Goodbye.

Black Hole

Black hole in my chest,
sucking out the contents of my heart.
hole hole hole, black hole.
Emptiness,
nothing's able to fill up that hole.
hole hole hole, black hole.
Loneliness,
was it always there?
when was the last time you felt 'full'?
Falling ... falling ... falling,
ever closer into that hole.
That hole that continues to grow larger
hole hole hole, black hole.

Sunday

What an amazing Sunday.
It totally made up for (and more) the shitty Saturday I had.
I love my bestfriends. I don't know what I'd do without them.

Laura, for seriously just listening to me and understanding. Being that shoulder to lean on when I started bawling for no reason during worship. Soothing me when I started freaking out about the donut and cookies n' cream kiss chocolates I was eating. For always feeding me at her house and never judging me for the bitch that I am. I've never known somebody who's fully accepted me as I truly am and I've never had to have any wall built up between us.

Stella, for never failing to cheer me up. For the random texts, comments, messages, oovoo sessions, and calls that never fail to make me smile. Always being there to listen, to make time for me, and actually CARE about what I say. For trusting me just as much as I trust her. For all those deep conversations we've had, followed up with stupid shit that we can't help but crack up over. Crazy mad love for you, babycakes.

And then finding out that my lovers Patty Wong and Den Kwok went to watch Jay baby bboy in Vancouver and thought of me & took buttloads of pictures and EVEN GOT ME A MFING GODDAMN AUTOGRAPH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHA AND PATTY PUT MY EMAIL INTO THE LETTER SHE GAVE TO JAY WHO ACCEPTED IT!

I don't remember the last time I was this content.

I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you.
For being there to pick me up at my lowest and never giving up on me. I know I'm not the best person, or even a very good person. I bitch too much, I'm judgmental and I have mood swings as often as the weather changes in socal. I would have never imagined being able to know people who truly appreciate me for who I am and really just give a damn about me.

I hope I'm just as special a person to them as they are to me.

I hate my life.
I hate this suffocated feeling that follows me everywhere.
I hate how I'm never really happy.
I hate this overwhelming feeling of unhappiness that I can't shake off.
This ...... discontent feeling.
The feeling like as if life let me down,
when I shouldn't have been expecting anything.
If anything, I should've been forming a road to my future
but I was just sitting there waiting for something that will never come.
This unbearable waiting sort of feeling ...
that there's supposed to be something more
until you're hit in the face with the reality that this is all you have.
mundanemundanemundanemundanemundanemundane
I need to get out of here.
I feel like I'm going to implode.

Somebody save me.

Baby Baby

THIS!
Baby, good to see you back <3 and smiling too (:

I'm glad he's still singing. His lyrics made me 'lol' haha.

I get approached a lot being who I am
and I gotta lot girls wishing I'm their man checkit/
and if I'm wrong with ya I don't wanna be right
I gotcha gigglin like everydays a comedy night
I'm a correct answer never do you wrong/
and I trust yah even though you've be gone/
but don't blame for getting little jealous/
it's just hard when you're talking to them fellaz/
I got that "taylor" body girl you know that I gotcha/
you can call me new moon because I orbit around ya/
you're my world my everything, the only thing between our face is just that spaghetti string/
I'm faithful won't pull a Kobe Bryant on you/
it's a jungle won't be "lion" pull a "tiger" on you
even know the exact shade of your eyes
my hearts ice your number one like Yuna Kim/

I used to be a boy
that had many girls
all over the world
but they got nothing on you babe
it's forever just you and me
for all of eternity/
I know you're stressing but I'm confessing baby you're the only girl I want
you can be my bestfriend we can play X-Men
you can be just I can be Cyclops
cause I don't wanna end up like everyone else
hurtin all alone all by myself
this is just something that I've never felt

I'll play X-Men with you, darling ;)

>:B

'Jang OO caught for urinating on the streets for giving water to the trees because they're organisms too'

'Runaway thief Hwang OO caught after making a commotion house by house'

'Kim OO arrested for illegally selling chin bones from the Amazon' **

'A follower of a weird religion called 'Rumors-Will-Disappear' caught, named Ok OO'

Hmm….. I think I've missed out someone… Not Nichkhun.. someone else.. Who have I missed?? Ah I dunno I think I've written everyone.

HAHAHAHA 대박!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(If you don't get the end, they're basically ignoring Junho because nobody notices him)

사랑

You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she
may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She’s not
perfect - you aren’t either, and the two of you may never be perfect
together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and
admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her
the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the
day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can
break - her heart. So don’t hurt her, don’t change her, don’t analyze
and don’t expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you
happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she’s not
there.

— Bob Marley

Happiness

"When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has opened for us."

For some reason I thought of Jay when I saw this. Although I'm not sure HOW happy he could have possibly been, surrounded by people disrespecting him, but I know that he must have really loved music and being able to spread his love to the people who really cared. So just because that certain door has been closed to him doesn't mean he can't find another door that will make him happy, if not happier. Jay, I hope you're happy. You're better off without 5PM/JYP(E) and their condescending shit.

I wonder when I'll find my own door?


I bet he misses Kwon T.T

Parentels

My mom doesn't even know what the fuck she's talking about and yet she feels the constant need to bitch at me just for the sake of venting her fucking ass off.

So annoying.

I want to leave home but there's 90% I'm going to cc here, FML.

I hate this damn bubble known as Valencia -___-


I miss you.